how can u be prego again
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
