I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
