would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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