Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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