He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
