seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
