You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
