now i know why i became what i already was.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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