did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
