ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
