so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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