For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
