he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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