You can't special order awesome
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
