We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
