My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
