If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
