So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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