his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
