Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
