they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
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