i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
