and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
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