I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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