Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
