i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
