Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
