sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Randomize
