I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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