we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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