I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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