I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
