I need help removing her.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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