That's when you crack a 10am beer
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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