Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
