At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
