Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
how do flat chested girls get laid?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
