Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
