Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize