What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Randomize
