Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
i think i just lost a toe
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
