it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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