Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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