There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize