I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
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