I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
