i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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