I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
