sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I understand Curling. That high.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
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