My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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