yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
