Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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