does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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