i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
