It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Hippo gnu deer
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I FOUND THE LEGS
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
