Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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