I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
