i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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