i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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