Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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