So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
