she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Pants are for mortals
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
